So, I really would like to talk this out... Keep in mind that I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm just explaining my thought process.
So, like the title says, I hit a cat while driving, yesterday. I was on my way to work, and it jumped out of nowhere before I had time to stop. I swerved, but I definitely felt the tires go over it. It was on a busy street, and I panicked. I stopped and checked in my mirror to see if it was moving, but someone had pulled up behind me and stopped their car to check on the cat. Here's where I messed up. I know I SHOULD have gotten out of the car, checked for tags, called a vet, SOMETHING, but I got really scared. I've dealt with a lot of abuse (mostly verbal), and I am absolutely terrified of conflict. If that person hadn't stopped, I would have gotten out, but the fact that someone else was there made me really nervous... So I kept driving. And I feel like the WORST person in the world. I mean, I know that's an exaggeration, but it's how I feel. I can't believe myself! I've stopped traffic to move a dumb bird out of the road for goodness sake, but I can't stop for a cat that I hit?! Of course, there was also the fact that I was late for work, which I won't lie about. They just lost a few employees and I KNOW my boss is on a short fuse, and like I said, I was really scared. I came back by after my shift to see if the cat had been moved, or if any of the houses still had their lights on so I could try and find the owner, but the cat was gone and all the houses were dark. I have no idea what to do.
I know I can't blame myself for hitting the cat. There was literally nothing I could have done to change that. I'm more upset with the fact that I didn't get out of my car. I'm the jerk everyone talks about who can't even stop after hitting an animal. I'm that person.
I'm hoping that the poor thing died on impact, and that it was a stray... I know that might sound terrible, but I just can't imagine losing one of my own cats that way. Of course, I'd probably be blaming myself for letting them roam around by a busy street, but a hit and run, regardless of what you've hit, is unacceptable and I don't know how to fix this.
This isn't one of those situations where I can hold on to the fact that I did everything I could, because I didn't.
Has this happened to any of you guys? I mean, have you ever had a similar experience?
Ugh. I just wish I could go back in time and do this whole thing differently.